If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
