we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
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Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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