Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
