I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
