I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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