Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
