You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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