Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
