i already hear my dad disowning me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
