Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
