So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
