no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
