drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
porn star boner night. come get it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
