The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
