i already hear my dad disowning me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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