I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize