i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
