I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
