i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
