So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
