hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
