i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
