ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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