So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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