Whod you bang
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
