Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
