i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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