did you get engaged???
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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