3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
