I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Panties = found
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
