I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
40s are totally the cure
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
