Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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