Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
