She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize