im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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