we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When are your genitals available?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
