We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
