Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
