I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.