Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you mean i was at the winter classic?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
