Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
