i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
