I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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