Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
