Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
