ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
