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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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