Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize