Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
