he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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