I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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