i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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