Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
