He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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