I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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