drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize