There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he puts the penis in happiness.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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