He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
