i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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