New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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