I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
