Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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