Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
