I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
