You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
