i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize